Goodbye My Love
by Prettycrazy
Summary: Clarisse have to make one last goodbye. Thoughts of a long life!


**This story came about when I came to think of my grandmother. I hope you will enjoy it!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own idea!!! lol**

**Thank you so much RevSue for doing the beta on this!!!!**

**On to the story...**

**Goodbye my love**

Clarisse was standing looking out of the huge window of her office, a single tear running down her cheek. She let it slide, didn't even want to wipe it away, it was welcomed, the task she was about to do was going to be difficult. But it was also something that needed to be done, it had followed her for the past 46 years, and would follow her till the day she would close her eyes for good.

Clarisse Renaldi, the former Queen of Genovia, had just three days ago married her Head of Security, Joseph. It had been a shock to many that they had jumped into the marriage, even if it had been on its way for a long time. But no matter how happy she was about her marriage to Joseph, she still had to say goodbye to a long time companion. At least, she thought it would be appropriate to do this now that she and Joseph were married.

Clarisse looked down at her hand; a tear guiding her gaze to the object of her thoughts, her wedding band and engagement ring, the two symbols of her connection to Rupert. The two symbols that had followed her through everything in all her years at the palace; her first state dinner, her wedding, her wedding night, Pierre's birth, Phillippe's birth and everything in between and after. But now was the time to take them off the finger that should hold Joseph's wedding band. She tried to take off the rings, but they wouldn't budge. She was trying to remember what Amelia had done last summer when she had been stung by a bee and her fingers had started to swell. In her mind's eye, Clarisse could see Mia lick her finger to get it wet enough to remove the rings she had been wearing. A soft smile spread across Clarisse's face. She would never do that. It was not very queenly. As she tried again to get the rings off, she twisted the engagement ring separately, but it still wouldn't give. A new smile came over her lips as she remembered the day Rupert had given it to her.

_Flashback_

_It was very warm for the time of the year. Usually October was colder and more windy, but not this evening. Clarisse had just moved into the royal family's estate that same day. She was in her room unpacking all her things she had wanted to bring with her to remind her of everything back home. A knock on the door turned her attention away from the diary she was writing in._

"_Vous pouvez entrer!" she said softly, looking at the door._

_Rupert poked his head through the door, before entering completely__. They had been seeing each other, as a normal couple would do, even if their marriage had been arranged. Rupert had seen it as a good way for them to get to know each other rather than just marrying because their parents had signed some papers years ago. So they knew each other fairly well._

"_Bonsoir, mademoiselle, how do you like the room?" he asked, interested._

"_Oh, it is beautiful, Rupert, so beautiful that I'm afraid I will break something!" she answered nervously._

"_I hope you will feel more relaxed here when you've gotten use to it!" he said and looked around._

"_Is that the only thing you came up here for?" she inquired._

"_No. Actually, I came up here to ask you if you would do me the honour of taking a walk with me through the garden. I want to show you my favourite spot there." he asked and held out a hand towards her._

"_I would be delighted!" she answered as she took his outstretched hand._

_They walked to the back of the palace garden, Rupert motioned for her to take a seat at the marble bench under the large tree, and knelt in front of her, taking her hand in his._

"_Clarisse, I know our future has already been planned for us, but I still think I should do this properly. I've asked your father this morning for his blessing, for permission to ask for your hand in marriage. Clarisse, will you marry me?" Rupert asked, and held out a purple velvet box. He opened it slowly to reveal a beautiful, yet simple, sparkling ring._

"_Oh Rupert, I don't know what to say!" __she said just above a whisper as she covered her mouth with one hand and let the tears flow._

"_I know you really don't have an option, but it would make me happy if you would give me an answer!" he smiled to try to lighten the mood._

"_Yes, Rupert, yes, I will marry you!" she nodded and smiled._

_He took out the ring and once again took hold of her hand to put the ring on her finger. He looked up into her eyes while sliding the ring on. "It was my great grandmother's ring. She and my great grandfather were married for 53 happy years. I hope it will bring us just as much happiness." he said as he finished putting the ring on her finger. It had gone much smoother than he had thought it might, but then he noticed that the ring was much too large for Clarisse's petite hand._

_End of flashback_

It wasn't that big now. She was smiling at the fond memory of Rupert's proposal and she was wishing the ring would have slid off just as easily as it had slid on the first time before Rupert had it fitted for her. She once again tried to pull the ring off, but it still didn't give. She then tried to push off the engagement ring with the wedding band that had been shielding it. That didn't make it any easier. Another smile spread across her face as she remembered her wedding day.

_Flashback_

_It was a beautiful day, mid June. From the time she had awakened to now, she had been in the bridal room getting the last bit of nerves under control. A knock sounded at the door._

"_Vous pouvez entrer!" she said softly, looking at the door._

"_Uhm Clarisse, it's me, Rupert!" Rupert's voice sounded from the other side of the closed door._

"_Rupert, what are you doing here? It's bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony!" she said, shocked._

"_I know. That's why I'm only asking for your permission to just crack the door open to tell you something!" he replied._

"_I guess you can do that, but please keep your eyes closed!" she begged._

"_I will!" he said and the door opened a crack. "I just wanted to tell you that I will do my best to be the best husband possible. I know that we do not share a deep love for one another, but I do hope we can love each other someday." he said nervously._

"_But Rupert, I do love you, or at least I think I do!" she answered._

"_I love you too, Clarisse!" he softly said, knowing he wasn't telling a complete lie. He did love her but he wasn't in love with her. He would pray for them to fall in love every night for the rest of their lives._

"_Thank you, Rupert!" she said softly after a long silent pause._

"_Thank you, Clarisse. Thank you for not running away, thank you for wanting this as much as I and thank you for being the amazing woman you are!" he said and cleared his throat. "I will be at the altar waiting impatiently to share the first kiss with you as my wife!" he added and left the door._

_Clarisse let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She hadn't thought about sharing their first kiss, not until he had mentioned it. Now she would never be able to relax._

_The wedding march started playing and the doors opened to reveal Clarisse and her father. They started walking and as soon as Clarisse had taken the first step, everything went blurry for her until Rupert took her shaking hand and guided her the last few steps towards the bishop. The only thing Clarisse registered was when Rupert repeated what the bishop said._

"_With this ring I thee wed!" He smiled wider than she thought possible, then she heard the bishop say "You may kiss the bride!" and he did. They shared their first kiss in front of thousands of people, but to them, they were the only ones there. _

_On their ride to the reception, Clarisse looked at the ring he had just place on her finger__. It was big, but not too big, with an amazing diamond that couldn't be compared to anything and it matched her engagement ring perfectly._

_End of flashback_

Tears were now streaming down her face, they had had the perfect marriage, never a bad word between them, they had always shared a loving kiss in the morning and one just before going to bed. He had been there for her when she went into labour, she had been there for him when he was hurt while hunting, he had nursed her through illness, she had held him during stressful times. They had shared everything: pain, sorrow, happiness, responsibilities, needs, beds and duty.

When he had died, a little part of her had died with him, she could no longer hold his face, scold him for making a mess, touch her lips to his, hold his hand while taking a walk, shake her head at him for acting out a silly proposal from parliament, she could no longer lay in his arms after they had made love. The tears kept running, but she was smiling, the many tears landed on her hands again, and when she tried again to pull at the rings they started sliding off her finger. When she had them in her palm, she looked to the sky.

"Thank you, Rupert, thank you for everything – I wouldn't want to have missed it for the world! Goodbye, my love!" She blew a small kiss at the sky, as the door opened and Joseph stepped in.

"Who are you talking to, darling?" he questioned but didn't receive an answer… just a slight shaking of her head and an outstretched hand which he took while she put the rings in her pocket.

"What are you doing? Have you been crying? What is the matter?" The questions flew at her as his concern for her was almost overwhelming.

"I'm just removing the last of my past so I can fully live in the present!" she said and kissed him softly on the lips.

Thank you for reading please review...


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